bYrta : performing for the self with self confidence instead of projecting self-confidence for others

Abstract

This research paper is written beside the process of my work bYrta. In this paper, I will share my own experience with self-confidence, the word and concept, throughout my dance years, as that is what started this research towards the individual piece. I will discuss both the personal and theoretical to give a better understanding of the conflict between a projected self-confidence and a felt one. The two theorists I rely on and refer to are Ervin Goffman and Audre Lorde, as I feel that they give a good explanation of what is presented and what is emotional and felt. Since things almost always come down to stereotypes I needed to look into the stereotypical ways of projecting self-confidence. I did that by using examples from my own experiences as well as Goffman’s theories. At the same time, I demonstrate what a typical person without, or with low, self-esteem is portrayed as, and how that affects the decisions others make in accordance with that. I question how little we can know about an individual’s feelings and status, and why we still tend to judge it. I research the erotic from Audre Lorde’s perspective as I feel that it has a lot of connections to my image of self-confidence. I use Audre Lorde’s theories to portray the feminine confidence contrary to the masculine, stereotypical and projected confidence. I reflect on the process and performance of the individual work following the theories and questions I have put forth in the paper. My intention with this research paper and the individual piece is to challenge the stereotypical and explore the feminine and erotic power within myself.